12/14/2012

Life as a Female Bear

If you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.
     
Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that, too.
     
If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.
     
If you're a female bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.
     
I wanna be a bear.

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